Thursday, July 31, 2008
I did not meet my Tuesday deadline that I set for myself.
I did try, but life simply got in the way. G saw how I was working hard and giving an all out effort. He gave me an extension of one day (without me even asking). By mid-day yesterday I came to the realization that I wasn't going to meet his extended deadline either. Mentally I started beating myself up completely.
You know the feeling...
I had an all out attack of the "wouldas, shouldas, couldas".
I tend to get rather quiet when something is bothering me, and I was absolutely silent by the time we went to bed. Of course, the foremost thing on my mind was... "When is it coming? Is he going to carry out the discipline tonight? Maybe in the morning?"
But instead of discipline, G talked. And in turn I opened up and he listened. This is something no other man I've been with has been able to do so effectively. The fact that he actually has a genuine interest in what I have to say just floors me sometimes.
G reminded me that ultimately, the deadlines were self-imposed. And even though I did not meet every one them, they did accomplish their goal. Which was to get me off my butt and get the taxes done.
He also declared that I have learned my lesson and that a discipline spanking wasn't going to help matters. He did say if I was still feeling guilt or anxiety, that maybe a release spanking would help. I kissed and thanked him for his caring and understanding. I was very tired and all I could think of at that point was sleep.
So here I am at 4am writing this post. Unable to sleep a wink. I wonder now if I should have taken him up on his offer?
Saturday, July 26, 2008
D and I have the kind of DD relationship that combines the occasional discipline spanking with lots (and I do mean LOTS) of "recreational" spanking -- fun spankings, quickie spankings, erotic spankings, and "dress up spankings" (if you saw D in her short pleated skirt, you'd know exactly what I mean).
Anyway... after we met, we discovered we'd both had a long curiosity about spanking parties, like the ones sponsored by Shadow Lane. There's one coming up in August in Las Vegas, and we're thinking of going.
But we've never been, and we have several concerns. We'd love to get any input from folks who've attended (or know someone who has). One of our concerns is that because the party has been held so many times, there is an "in-crowd" that won't welcome newcomers. I don't think this would be intentional, but rather a simple act of human nature. We don't want to spend the money to come to a large party where we don't feel we can "fit in."
Second, of course, it IS a public affair (or semi-public affair). What with the stories about the "outings" in England, we have what I think are normal concerns about revealing ourselves and our wonderful pastime to complete strangers.
On the other hand, we both think it would be soooo much fun and special to find ourselves in the middle of a group of like-minded people for a change, where we don't have to keep anything secret, where we might learn a few things from others, and where it would be pretty cool to see others being spanked.
So we're thinking of going. Any input from all of you out in the blogosphere would be Quite Welcome, indeed!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Now that I am in a DD relationship, I have someone else I can count on and be accountable to. G genuinely has my best interests at heart. And when I come to him asking for help, he takes it very seriously. And in turn, so do I.
At the beginning of this partnership with G, I thought the threat of a disciplinary spanking would be my sole motivation for doing well. Now I have discovered is (much to my surprise) what I dread more than the disciplinary spanking itself, is the thought of disappointing him.
I know ultimately I should be doing it for me. But it sure helps knowing that I have his strong arms holding me up! (Or, bending me over if need be!)
Progress report... I didn't need the extension after all. I finished sorting out my paperwork at 11:30pm last night (Thursday).
Next deadline: Tuesday: July 29 - Enter paperwork into spreadsheets.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Yesterday he graciously gave me the extension (the deadline is now EOD Friday). I really DO NOT want this spanking to happen (the exact reason why I asked for the extension.)
I'm curious about a couple of things... Should I have even asked for the extension? Was G too generous on giving me the extension? If I'm not successful in completing my task on the extended date - should my punishment be more severe?
Of course, there are really no right or wrong answers to these questions. Being that every DD relationship is unique, the "right" answers will be what is best for myself and G.
But I am curious to find out about what you have to say. Please share your comments, I would like to hear other points of view.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
D wanted to be held accountable for getting this task done on time. She strongly believed that the consequence of a firm, no-nonsense disciplinary spanking was just the ticket.
I agreed to hold her accountable, of course, because that's my responsibility. But the more I thought about it, I realized that D's potential for success would be much greater if she would divide the (seemingly overwhelming) task into smaller pieces.
We both work in (separate) offices in our home. Although it might sound a bit daft, I sent her an email (I like a paper trail for goals), as follows:
Re: Your tax extension project
Date: July 18, 2008
You’ve come to me asking for some “motivation” to complete your income taxes for last year, and told me you have about 30 days to complete your preparation for the tax preparer.
Of course, the motivation comes in the form of a no-nonsense disciplinary spanking for failure to meet your commitment to complete this project on time.
I would like to make several suggestions to help you with this project.
1. Please prepare a project timeline that breaks the tasks down into three chunks. If you listed all you have to do, ask yourself: what could I complete in one week, two weeks, and three weeks?
2. I would like you to have the entire project done in three weeks (not 30 days) so that there is some room to complete the project on time if you don’t meet these interim deadlines.
3. I will expect a verbal report from you on these occasions:
a. When you’ve completed dividing the project into three one-week steps. I will expect this to be completed by the end of this weekend (July 20)
b. You will report whether you completed the first week’s tasks by July 27th. If you have not completed all the tasks in this portion of the project by this time, you will be given a firm disciplinary spanking.
c. You will report whether you have completed the second week’s tasks by August 3rd. If you have not completed all the tasks in this portion (and the previous portion) of the project by this time, you will be given a firm disciplinary spanking.
d. You will report on whether you have completed the third week’s tasks (in essence, the entire project) by August 10th. If you have not completed the project by this time, you will be given a firm disciplinary spanking.
e. If you have remaining tasks after August 10th, you will complete them by August 17th, ready for the tax preparer. Once again, if you have not completed (and made arrangements to get the documents to the tax preparer) by this time, you will be given a firm disciplinary spanking.
It is not my intention to deliver several disciplinary spankings.
It is my intention to keep you on track for a successful project. I would be happiest if you completed this project with no disciplinary spankings whatsoever.
If you have any questions, let me know. I’m completely confident that you can and will complete this project on time.
Yesterday, I received an email from D:
Re: My tax extension project
Date: July 19, 2008
Thank you for your help regarding my “motivation” to complete my income taxes for last year.
I have only one modification on the timeline I would like to make (with your approval of course). Since the taxes are due August 15th, I would like to shorten the period from 3 weeks to getting them done by the end of the month and delivered to my accountant. (This way it gives him time to complete the necessary paperwork before the deadline of August 15th. )
The three steps and timeline are as follows:
1) EOD Thursday, July 24 – Have all receipts and paperwork sorted out by month and categories
2) EOD Tuesday, July 29 – Have receipts and paperwork digitally recorded via spreadsheets and Quickbooks.
3) EOD Thursday, July 31 – All paperwork filed and electronically sent to accountant.
I will give you a verbal report on these occasions. And if I have not completed all the tasks by the time stated above, I understand that I will be given a firm disciplinary spanking.
As always, your efforts and thoughtfulness are much appreciated.
I'm happy to report that D's response to my email was more than sufficient as her report on the first milestone, and I am delighted with the changes she proposes. As much as we both love spanking, I would be quite pleased if she completes her project on time, and avoids having to be disciplined for it.
That's the real goal of a loving disciplinary relationship -- the achievement of goals without having to be spanked for procrastination. I'm confident she'll reach each of the milestones in this project on time.
But, if she does procrastinate, I shall not hesitate to deliver my end of the bargain -- a complete, no-nonsense, disciplinary spanking.
I'll keep you posted!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Today I cried.
Not only did I cry… I sobbed.
And it was OK.
Our sexual adventures have taken a back seat during all of this. And to put it mildly… I have been a bit frustrated. For the past couple of days I have been feeling much better and have been hinting to G that I would like to engage in a bit of sexual play. And he in turn would tease, “Maybe in 2 or 3 weeks after your infection is completely cleared up.” AAARRGGHHH!!
This morning, G asked if I was available to take a break (we both have home offices). He caught me at the right time and I said “Sure.”
He proceeded to take me by the hand and lead me to the bedroom. He crawled onto the bed and motioned for me to join him. As I laid in his arms, he stroked my hair and told me how much he appreciated all I had done for him and he wanted to show his gratitude.
“I would like to give you a spanking and take you to a place where you need to be.”
And he did.
Draped over his lap, G spanked me soundly and then brought me to orgasm. As I climaxed, it happened…. I started to cry. Then the crying turned to sobbing. I could hear G’s soft voice comforting me, “it’s alright baby, let it go… let it all go.”
I didn’t realize how much I needed the release, but G obviously did.
We stayed in that position for a long time while I wept. I think everything just caught up with me in that moment and I was able to release it in one joyous amazing burst. This was a happy, gratitude type of cry. Not a sad one.
This was the first time G saw me cry. I don't think it will be the last.
"The soul would have no rainbow, if the eyes had no tears."
Native American Proverb