Friday, October 31, 2008

Missing my sweetie!

D is away for a week on a vacation trip with a friend. She's earned it; she's been working way too hard lately and could use a relaxing break.

But this is the longest time we've been apart since we met, and I'm missing her so! It's not just because of the little (but greatly appreciated) things she does like make a fresh pot of coffee each morning. It's not even because of the wonderful times we share with her over my knee gettin' a spankin'.

Nope, I'm missing her because I love her so, and I love living in the same house, with both of working from our own offices in that house, and spending time together doing all kinds of simple things like biking and going to the farmer's market and catching a movie and watching the Daily Show together.

She's become, in just a few short months, such a part of my life that I can't hardly remember life before D. We found each other, we began a wonderful relationship, we found a nearly perfect little house in which to live, in a nearly perfect neighborhood for our tastes and interests, and I still pinch myself every now and then to make sure it's real.

It's real, and I love her, and I'm missing her (while hoping she's having a fabulous time!).

But I must say, she's going to get a heckofa spanking when she returns! (And she'll love it too!)

Monday, October 27, 2008

A Wonderful Birthday

Despite the comedy of errors Saturday turned out to be, yesterday was a wonderful day spent with G. I did not lift a finger other than to the remote control to switch between football games. Throughout the day G made sure my pleasure centers were well taken care of. I think the count at the end of the day was 3 huge "I'm on a different planet" orgasms and numerous spankings. He also gave me 3 different cards throughout the day, which the one below is my favorite.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

D & G’s Not So Excellent Adventure

G had it all planned out. For my birthday present, he was going to whisk me away to a B&B in the woods to relax. I love surprises, so he did not tell me where we were going. He gave me a few hints on what to pack. Then he asked me to leave the room so he could finish packing. (YAY! More surprises!)

The ride to the B&B only took an hour. It was indeed in the middle of the woods. The clerk gave us 2 keys so we could choose which room we would like to stay in. How nice!

We drove down a little dirt road to our cabin. The first thing we noticed and remarked on just how quiet it was. Just because we didn’t voice it, I know our spanko brains were both thinking the same thing… “Anyone within a few 100 yards of us is going to hear EVERYTHING we are doing.” Oh well, they’ll just have to cope. Let’s look at the rooms.

After a bit of struggling with the lock, G was finally able to get the door open. We were immediately hit with a stench. If this smell were to be bottled and sold, the name would probably be something like “Grandma’s Attic that Hasn’t Been Cleaned in 20 Years”. The room itself was not all that it was cracked up to be either. It was tiny with matching small bathroom, The bedspread and pillows looked like they hadn’t been washed in at least a year. It contained one rickety looking chair which looked like it would have collapsed if G even attempted to take me OTK. And not that it’s absolutely necessary, no TV. We looked at each other and said “Let’s check out the other room.” The other room wasn’t any better but at least the smell wasn’t as bad. I could see the disappointment in G’s face, this was not at all turning out like he had planned.

We went into the quaint little town that was nearby to buy a candle that would at least mask the smell and to have something to eat. Over dinner we came to the conclusion that we were both equally disappointed in how events have transpired and we both rather be sleeping in our own bed. After dinner we went back to the room, loaded the car back up with our bags and drove home. We ended up just laughing trying our best to make lemonade out of this batch of smelly lemons.

I feel so bad for G who spent the time and not to mention the money on trying to make my birthday special. No matter what, I am grateful to have G in my life for this birthday and hopefully many more to come. I have to say I won’t forget this one anytime soon!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Back On Track

Alright, I know I deserve a hard discipline spanking for not posting and keeping in touch. Line forms to the left. But before I go over your knee, hear me out.

After Shadow Lane, G and I were so happy about the whole experience and on a great big high. Then things started to crash around me. It seemed like everything I touched, business, friends, life in general… turned into crap. I started to go into a depression.

At first I just thought it was a form of sub-drop after the SL party. There was also a lot going on personally for me, but it was much more than that. I started to generate thoughts and feelings of self loathing. The one thing that anyone will tell you is once you start down that slippery slope, it’s much easier to just keep going down into that dark hole than to climb up out of it. When I get upset or sad, I tend to withdraw, get very quiet and of all things, sleep. All I want to do is pull the covers over my head and escape.

I let everything go. My health, brain, work, friends, family… all suffered. And sadly, G received the brunt of it. It even got to the point I was having second thoughts about G and wondering if we should call it quits. The DD aspect of our relationship had all but stopped as well. Last week things came to an ugly head, and thankfully G forced a conversation I had been avoiding. It’s not that I won’t talk, it’s just incredibly hard for me to turn emotional thoughts in my head into something that make sense verbally.

After a very difficult conversation and finding out there had been a lot of miscommunication, we ended up in an embrace and held on to each other for a long time. We agreed that we love each other and need to give ourselves a chance.

I felt myself slowly climbing out of that dark hole.

Yesterday was my birthday. I tend to look back on this day and see where I’ve been in the past year and what lessons I’ve learned. One of the biggest is just how much I love and cherish my friends. I have realized that it’s ok to ask for help and cry on their shoulder when needed. I vowed to reconnect with as many as I can over the next couple of days.

So, where better to start than with my on-line friends? I opened my Google reader for the first time in about a month yesterday to catch up with all of you. Wow! It hit me like a hammer just how long it’s been since I’ve lifted my head out of the sand. You all have been busy! I am looking forward to catching up on all of your adventures. Thank you to those of you who have expressed your concerns and thoughts. They are much appreciated.

Alrighty then, who’s knee do I go over first?