- I've gotten back into the sweet sensations that come from delivering a warm up. I'd forgotten how delicious it can be, as a way of "conditioning" D's bottom for a proper spanking, as a way of building anticipation, and as a way of extending the experience and making it last longer. She can take a longer spanking if she's warmed up, and I LOVE long spankings! But it's more than that…it's about taking a few moments to stop and touch the roses, so to speak. To let that beautiful sight of D's bare bottom flow into my headspace. To see the naked pallet awaiting some color. It's really sweet, and I am glad that I'm back in touch with all the possibilities of the warm-up.
- We brought home a new spreader bar the other day and gave it a whirl. Whoa! We love it. I can position D over some pillows on the bed, and restrain her legs with cuffs attached to the bar. This leaves her vulnerable and that really pushes my Dom buttons. I love ass-play, so what better way to position her for everything from licks and fingering, to feathers and necktie rubs, to butt plug play, and, of course, to spankings, paddlings and the like. I love combining the spreader bar with a blindfold, soft music, and a toy box nearby. (Of course, it can also be disconcerting when her cat perches himself on the bed to get a better view!)
- We snuck in a spanking in a public place that was so delicious. We were involved in a small theatrical production and arrived at the theatre one day before anyone else. We had a key and let ourselves in. Inside the deserted theatre, on the stage, in full view of the front door where other cast/crew members were due any second, I took her over my knee. At first, she plopped right down with a mischievous grin over my lap. But you should have seen the look on her face when I ordered her to stand so we could lower her pants -- and no panties underneath! She got a great hand spanking. I could see the door and knew we would have JUST enough time to "make everything right" if someone came in -- but she couldn't. And the sounds of the smacks echoing throughout the cavernous room were incredible.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
During last year's event, 87 spanking-oriented blogs posted LOL messages and they received 1,971 comments. Better still, we met many, many great people. Quite a few remain regular readers to this day. Several have become successful bloggers in their own right.
This year, we invited 231 bloggers to participate! And it's all for you.
Update: We now have 123 participating bloggers. Many have clever incentives to encourage de-lurking.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
A while back D and I were out of town on a combination business/pleasure trip. It came to pass that we were in our hotel room, late one evening, when I commenced spanking her lovely bottom.
Problem was (I discovered after we talked about it later), she just wasn’t into it at the time. Now, this is a pretty rare event. And we have a “ground rule” that seems to work just fine most of the time: I spank her whenever, wherever, and for whatever reason I want.
And she inevitably responds like any good spanko. She protests; she wriggles and kicks and reaches back, she tries to distract me, she tries talking her way out of it, and so on. We both love that. Of course, it never works.
But this particular evening, she just wasn’t into it. She is very conscious of not topping from the bottom, so there was no way (she could think of at the moment) to tell me that it wasn’t working for her. And, after all, there’s the ground rule in place.
After a few smacks, she just went limp. She surrendered to the experience – no, she resigned herself to the experience, but almost immediately, I lost the desire to spank her. I do not like spanking a non-responsive person. And note, I’m not talking about the sublime experience when a spanko slips into sub-space and stops protesting. This was clearly different.
So I stopped, and shortly afterwards, we went to sleep. We talked about it the next day. We both agreed that if she’d used her safe word, that would have been inappropriate, because she wasn’t in that space. She would have accepted the spanking as long as I wanted to deliver it. But she was just getting nothing from it. (Why? My guess is she was in a low point emotionally, for reasons not connected to the spanking, and couldn’t get past that.)
We’ve talked about it some more, and think we need to come up with some way for her to let me know that, in certain limited and unusual circumstances, she just doesn’t want to be spanked, without violating our ground rule. She doesn’t want to top from the bottom, and she certainly doesn’t want to do this very often. In fact, if my memory serves me correctly, this is really the first and only time that this has happened.
So, I guess I’m asking for advice. How do you handle this kind of situation? Should we come up with a special kind of safe word for these situations? I’m not into spanking her unless on some level it’s good for both of us (and we define “good” very differently, of course). I’m fine with letting it go for the moment and returning to spanking later – the next day, later that evening, whatever.
But I can’t read her mind; I can only go by the non-verbal signals she sends. And these can be confusing. I did get the message when she simply went limp and I could tell it wasn’t sub-space because the spanking had barely begun and it was highly unlikely.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
There are many reasons I like to go to Shadowlane parties. It’s a wonderful time with D, in part because our spankings that weekend are even more fun, or more intense, or both.
I like going because I’ll be surrounded by like-minded people for 48 hours, and I will probably make some new friends (that’s happened both years now).
I enjoy seeing what’s for sale at the Vendor’s Fair. We made a terrific purchase once again.
And, to be completely honest, I love seeing people get spanked.
That’s why suite parties are so special – people (who want to play) get spanked, both privately and in full view of the others. Sometimes playfully, often quite hard. Sometimes on their panties, and often on the bare.
I love it.
I came to realize this year that what’s particularly exciting for me is to see D getting spanked by someone else. It’s really the only way I get to see her facial expressions and her body language from a distance. The first time, I wasn’t sure I’d like it. Hey! That’s MY lady you’re spanking! But that didn’t last long at all, partly because I could tell that D loved it so much.
Last year, we did a private scene, in which another couple came to our room and gave D a sound thrashing for being a recalcitrant school girl. She was dressed exactly right for her part. They played a principal and teacher who had had it with D, and determined that she needed to be spanked for her naughty behavior. I was mostly outside of the scene, being a teacher (if I remember) who had turned her in. It was, for the most part, a three-person scene with me as a witness. (Of course, I egged them on throughout!)
It was fantastic. D earned an academy award, in my opinion, but so did the other couple, who were always in character, and who weren’t, shall we say, willing to spare the rod. They both got their licks in and they know how to spank!
This year, neither of us played a private scene with anyone. Instead, we went to, and hosted our own suite parties, where there is little role play but lots of spankings. I started us off at the first party, taking D into the kitchenette and giving her bottom a sound thrashing with a small paddle. It was really a “semi-public” spanking because the rest of the guests could only see us from about the shoulders up (over the counters) from their seats in the living room. Of course, they could hear all the smacks and reactions.
Soon after, a top needed a volunteer to take a spanking with his giant rice stirring paddle. I nudged D and helped volunteer her. It was thrilling to watch her walk over to take her place bent over a sofa, her skirt lifted. I watched the whole spanking sitting in front of her, seeing every expression on her face. I loved it. (And so did she, by the way…)
Later at the same party, I met someone I had corresponded with beforehand, and she made it clear she deserved to be taken over my lap. We retreated to the bedroom and I got down to business. Moments later, her husband had D by the hand, and he led her to the same room and proceeded to give her a spanking as well. (Not hard enough, she ‘fessed to me later.)
At one point, there were four spankings going on in that bedroom, which had two large beds and a chair. It was fantastic!
In our own suite party, we played a “Newlywed Game” that I created for spanking couples. There were no prizes or consequences; it was just a great way to get to know one another. But when it ended, one top stood up and said he wanted a door prize. Moments later he walked over to D, took her hand, and led her into the bedroom for a spanking. I loved it! (Again, so did she!)
It’s highly unlikely that I’ll deliver an authentic, panties down, bare bottom spanking to D in a real public setting, no matter how delicious the fantasy. I do value not getting arrested, and so does she!
But at Shadowlane, I can scratch that itch. I can spank others, I can watch others being spanked. I can learn a few things from other tops (and even the bottoms). And I can enjoy seeing D spanked by someone else. I can’t quite put words on why that is so special to me, but it is.
Monday, September 7, 2009
After the Vendor's Fair, we attended a couple of Suite Parties, and every top who saw D's outfit was quite pleased. When they got a glimpse of those panties, they were universally apoplectic. :-)
The Suite Parties were a blast. D got spanked several times, and I delivered a few blisterings as well. I even got to spank Chelsea Pfeiffer, a "rock star" of the spanking world, while D was over the lap of Chelsea's husband Larry.
We met several couples and clicked with several who came to our own Suite Party (more on this in another post). We were delighted to meet and enjoy the company of several people who live fairly close by, so the opportunity for some more spanking fun between Shadow Lane parties is now an option.
All in all, we had an absolute blast. I must admit, our second Shadow Lane party exceeded our expectations and will be long remembered. More on subsequent posts...
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
As you can see, I stayed up a little late after I came home. But before I go to bed, I want to tell you how special last night was, from start to finish.
It wasn’t so much what happened, where we went, or what we did, but it has more to do with how close I feel to you, and how much I want to take this journey with you.
There’s just something about that collar. It’s such a powerful symbol. When you wear it, I feel completely connected to you. We are as one, as they say.
It’s not that without the collar I don’t feel these things, it’s just that with it, I feel them more strongly. More completely.
The words aren’t coming out as I might like them to come. So I’ll close for now, thinking of you as I drift off to sleep.
Know that you are loved, deeply.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
- Learning to submit and surrender
- Boundary management
- Building trust
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
It began on a high point – or so I thought, when D and I celebrated our first anniversary on April 6th. We had a grand time and you can read about it in a previous post, below.
What I didn’t realize was that D was unhappy, and had been so for some time. She had reached the point where she believed we would probably have to “break up” as lovers. She left open the possibility that we could be friends afterwards, but that was it.
So, about a week after our anniversary, we had “the talk.” I was taken by surprise and could not believe my ears, but there it was – we were breaking up. Over the next 24 hours, my mind spun out of control. How could this be? What happened? What went wrong? How can I fix this? There were no answers.
And there was a practical concern as well. We were leasing a home together, we both work from the home so we’re together nearly 7/24, and the lease extended to the end of June. How would two people who had broken up their romantic, intimate relationship live together (let alone satisfy their professional responsibilities) for the next 10 weeks? How would we deal with any grief, anger, resentment, loneliness, and God knows what else?
As I write this post, I’ve tried to describe what happened next several different ways, but they all got to be too wordy. Let me just say this:
D moved out. I took a ride on the emotional roller coaster (as did D, I later found out). From the high on April 6th to a very, very low a week or so later. But fairly quickly, I decided I had to stop whining, stop feeling like a victim, and take action.
I went house hunting and found one immediately. I began to realize that I was close to accepting what had happened with D, and in the spirit of taking a risk I decided to see if there really was any possibility of emerging as friends.
I contacted D and invited her to dinner. She was coming back to our house anyway for a three day span when I’d be out of town, so she could pack some more. I suggested she come the night before (with no strings, no obligations, nothing except dinner and conversation). She accepted my offer.
It’s difficult to describe all the things that have happened since this dinner. Here’s some headlines:
We both found a house to rent, and they are three blocks apart.
We both are looking forward to our new digs. We’re even going to help each other move.
We have honestly kept our friendship alive, and in fact, it’s better now than ever. We may be as close as we’ve ever been.
We are going to continue to date.
In some ways, we think perhaps what we’re doing now is what we should have done in the first place when D moved to my city to be with me. She needs / wants the experience of being on her own, independent, strong, and capable. She needs to finish some psychological business with a previous marriage.
My understanding of what went “wrong” between us has changed as we’ve talked and sorted it out. To be sure, there ARE some differences between us that may be long-term issues, if we stay together. Then again, maybe not. But by moving in together so quickly after meeting one another, we settled into some routines which soon became habits which morphed (in some instances) into ruts. We were lovers, but we were already beginning to take each other for granted. And we spent far too much time together, leaving no “alone time” to reflect, digest, and understand how we felt about everything.
So, the bottom line: (no pun intended!) we’re still a couple. We’re moving forward in a way that I hadn’t imagined but now completely endorse. I’m excited; she’s excited. Will we be together in two years? Five years? Forever?
No way to know. Which would be true even if we were still living together. Or got married, for that matter. But by taking the action that we’ve taken, we really come alive and both feel vibrant, optimistic, and alive.
One more thing, to answer your unspoken questions. Yes, I’m still spanking D. In fact, I gave her the toughest disciplinary spanking of our year together the last night we spent together before she moved out. Perhaps I’ll tell you more about that some time. But since we’ve reconnected and aligned, there have been several spankings, and lots of great, intimate times together.
The moral to this post? Never, EVER assume that because something appears to be over, it’s really over. You just never know. And don’t shut down a blog for that reason, either!
It feels good to be posting again. Looking forward to hearing from all of you!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
I thought I would share email I sent G that day.
Happy Anniversary G, I'm looking to many more years and spankings to come!
I must say, after reading your blog I am intrigued. You sound exactly like the type of man and relationship I have been looking for.
I am a divorced woman of 45. I have recently relocated to the great Northwest and have decided I do not like the cold and rainy winters here. I have decided to move back to my home town, most likely in the next couple of months. When I read that you were from the same city and the type of woman and relationship you are looking for, I felt compelled to at least write and introduce myself.
I am a professional woman and own a successful business. I have always longed for a relationship as you have described in your blog. It is very difficult to find someone that I "click" with on an intimate level as well as an intellectual one.
If you are interested in pursuing a correspondence, please by all means - email back (and perhaps a photo?). If not, I wish you well in your search. I will bookmark your blog.
P.S. Your description of a "proper spanking" is amazing, and exactly how I would love to be disciplined