Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Resurrection

What a month!

It began on a high point – or so I thought, when D and I celebrated our first anniversary on April 6th. We had a grand time and you can read about it in a previous post, below.

What I didn’t realize was that D was unhappy, and had been so for some time. She had reached the point where she believed we would probably have to “break up” as lovers. She left open the possibility that we could be friends afterwards, but that was it.

So, about a week after our anniversary, we had “the talk.” I was taken by surprise and could not believe my ears, but there it was – we were breaking up. Over the next 24 hours, my mind spun out of control. How could this be? What happened? What went wrong? How can I fix this? There were no answers.

And there was a practical concern as well. We were leasing a home together, we both work from the home so we’re together nearly 7/24, and the lease extended to the end of June. How would two people who had broken up their romantic, intimate relationship live together (let alone satisfy their professional responsibilities) for the next 10 weeks? How would we deal with any grief, anger, resentment, loneliness, and God knows what else?

As I write this post, I’ve tried to describe what happened next several different ways, but they all got to be too wordy. Let me just say this:

D moved out. I took a ride on the emotional roller coaster (as did D, I later found out). From the high on April 6th to a very, very low a week or so later. But fairly quickly, I decided I had to stop whining, stop feeling like a victim, and take action.

I went house hunting and found one immediately. I began to realize that I was close to accepting what had happened with D, and in the spirit of taking a risk I decided to see if there really was any possibility of emerging as friends.

I contacted D and invited her to dinner. She was coming back to our house anyway for a three day span when I’d be out of town, so she could pack some more. I suggested she come the night before (with no strings, no obligations, nothing except dinner and conversation). She accepted my offer.

It’s difficult to describe all the things that have happened since this dinner. Here’s some headlines:

We both found a house to rent, and they are three blocks apart.

We both are looking forward to our new digs. We’re even going to help each other move.

We have honestly kept our friendship alive, and in fact, it’s better now than ever. We may be as close as we’ve ever been.

We are going to continue to date.

In some ways, we think perhaps what we’re doing now is what we should have done in the first place when D moved to my city to be with me. She needs / wants the experience of being on her own, independent, strong, and capable. She needs to finish some psychological business with a previous marriage.

My understanding of what went “wrong” between us has changed as we’ve talked and sorted it out. To be sure, there ARE some differences between us that may be long-term issues, if we stay together. Then again, maybe not. But by moving in together so quickly after meeting one another, we settled into some routines which soon became habits which morphed (in some instances) into ruts. We were lovers, but we were already beginning to take each other for granted. And we spent far too much time together, leaving no “alone time” to reflect, digest, and understand how we felt about everything.

So, the bottom line: (no pun intended!) we’re still a couple. We’re moving forward in a way that I hadn’t imagined but now completely endorse. I’m excited; she’s excited. Will we be together in two years? Five years? Forever?

No way to know. Which would be true even if we were still living together. Or got married, for that matter. But by taking the action that we’ve taken, we really come alive and both feel vibrant, optimistic, and alive.

One more thing, to answer your unspoken questions. Yes, I’m still spanking D. In fact, I gave her the toughest disciplinary spanking of our year together the last night we spent together before she moved out. Perhaps I’ll tell you more about that some time. But since we’ve reconnected and aligned, there have been several spankings, and lots of great, intimate times together.

The moral to this post? Never, EVER assume that because something appears to be over, it’s really over. You just never know. And don’t shut down a blog for that reason, either!

It feels good to be posting again. Looking forward to hearing from all of you!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

And now, it's time to say goodbye...

She took me by surprise, that's for sure. A few days ago, D told me that she's been unhappy for a few months, and that she doesn't see a path for us that will work in the long run. The details of our issues are not important here, nor do I wish to air them publicly. But she's packed up and left already. It's over.

We had a wonderful year together (see post below). But what I'd hoped for -- a relationship that would last through thick and through thin, wasn't to be.

I shall be grateful to D for taking the risk to contact me in the first place after I established this blog in the first place, and for some amazing and wonderful memories. I got to taste the creme de la creme in these special relationships, and no one can take that away.

I am also grateful to all of you who I've met in person, or through this blog, for your support, your stories, and your comments. May you all have peace and prosperity, health and happiness.

I'll leave the blog up for a week or so and then... :::::poof::::: it will cease to exist. Kinda like our relationship.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Happy Anniversary from D

A year ago today I was reading Bonnie's blog. Her post for that day was a list of suggested blogs that her readers might enjoy. Among the list was G's blog. And the rest as they say... is history.

I thought I would share email I sent G that day.

Happy Anniversary G, I'm looking to many more years and spankings to come!

----------------------

Dear G,

I must say, after reading your blog I am intrigued. You sound exactly like the type of man and relationship I have been looking for.

I am a divorced woman of 45. I have recently relocated to the great Northwest and have decided I do not like the cold and rainy winters here. I have decided to move back to my home town, most likely in the next couple of months. When I read that you were from the same city and the type of woman and relationship you are looking for, I felt compelled to at least write and introduce myself.

I am a professional woman and own a successful business. I have always longed for a relationship as you have described in your blog. It is very difficult to find someone that I "click" with on an intimate level as well as an intellectual one.

If you are interested in pursuing a correspondence, please by all means - email back (and perhaps a photo?). If not, I wish you well in your search. I will bookmark your blog.

-D

P.S. Your description of a "proper spanking" is amazing, and exactly how I would love to be disciplined

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Our First Anniversary!

Well, it's certainly been a while since we updated our blog! Everything's fine, and we're doing great. Just thought I'd let everyone know we're still around, still enjoying great spanking and great loving.

We met one year ago on April 6th. We moved in together in May or June. We've been very happy together and look forward to many, many more years together.

Let us know if you want to see more blog posts. Sometimes you never know if anyone's really reading!

PS: Have we missed anything exciting in the spanko community??? Do tell!