Friday, June 12, 2009

An email I sent D

An email I sent D last night...


As you can see, I stayed up a little late after I came home. But before I go to bed, I want to tell you how special last night was, from start to finish.

It wasn’t so much what happened, where we went, or what we did, but it has more to do with how close I feel to you, and how much I want to take this journey with you.

There’s just something about that collar. It’s such a powerful symbol. When you wear it, I feel completely connected to you. We are as one, as they say.

It’s not that without the collar I don’t feel these things, it’s just that with it, I feel them more strongly. More completely.

The words aren’t coming out as I might like them to come. So I’ll close for now, thinking of you as I drift off to sleep.

Know that you are loved, deeply.


Saturday, June 6, 2009

The First Lesson

Thursday night, D and I began our exploration of a collared relationship. She's posted her account of what happened in her own blog, the Story of D.

Bottom line (pun intended): It was a wonderful evening.

One of the things we're both attracted to is rope play. We'd purchased some Japanese rope for this occasion, and I looked forward to using it.

But – I am not an expert in knotting. I nearly flunked out of Boy Scouts as a Tenderfoot because I couldn't tie the knots. I'm easily frustrated by tangles of cords, which seem to get more tangled when I try to straighten them out.

And the last thing I wanted to do was begin our exploration by screwing up the knot tying!

So, the day before I found a website, Twisted Monk, which has a terrific series of videos aimed at teaching the beginning Dom how to tie good knots. I spent some time trying to memorize the turns and twists of the rope but realized I needed some actual, real-time practice to get it right. And I didn't want to leave anything to chance during our first session.

So...I bought some cheap clothesline for practice. Lacking a living model, or even a mannikin to practice on, I found the next best thing: two dining room chairs. Perfect! They would be patient, they wouldn't notice if I messed up, and they would be quiet afterwards!

Turns out, the knots I was practicing were pretty simple. The picture you see is my final effort. I did that one several times until I could do it easily without fumbling.

D has done a great job summarizing how the evening went, so I thought I'd keep my post about how the rope portion went. It was fantastic! I felt confident, D loved the feel of the Japanese ropes, and we both enjoyed some of the possibilities that unfold when she's bound, wrist to wrist and ankle to ankle.

In my comments to D on her post, I admitted to having some "stage fright" before we began. This was positive nervous energy, because I wanted our first experience to be "as good as it gets." More than anything, I wanted both of us to conclude afterwards that we'd found something special and wanted to do it again. And again. And again.

The stage fright energy quickly morphed into Dom energy and the evening unfolded beautifully. D is a terrific sub, obeying each request, command or instruction to the letter. Well, almost. She slipped once and made (forbidden) eye contact. That cost her some serious spank time at the kitchen counter.

Anyway, it was a great evening and we followed up with another the very next night. D is not collared 7/24, but it's clearly going to become a major part of our life.

She had asked what to call me when she wore the collar. I told her, "Sir." I also told her I did not want to be called Master, for a couple of reasons. Perhaps the most important is that I don't see myself as a Master Dom by any means. I'm at the beginning of the journey.

I know I've lots to learn, and I know I have both the disposition and the capacity to get very good at it. So for now, she'll show her respect by calling me Sir. Works for me!

I may be a beginner, but something has stirred in me, that's been there probably since childhood. I'm a beginner in terms of technique but not in terms of character. I know that now.

And the best is yet to come!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Exploring Dominance and Submission: The First Lesson

Tomorrow night, our relationship will probably change forever.

In the year that I have known (and lived with) D, we have explored spanking and Domestic Discipline many times. I've spanked D countless times, from playful swats while she gets dressed or does the dishes, to romantic spankings we call "Venetians" (because that's where, in Las Vegas, I delivered the first of that kind, to no-nonsense full disciplinary spankings.

I spanked her in every room of the house, in every conceivable position, and in many other places as well. I mean, c'mon -- I even spanked her in five road side rest stops along the trip when we moved her to my home city.

But we never really took a step that we have both come to realize is quite important to both of us: authentic Dominance and Submission. Tomorrow night that all changes.

I've bought D a collar similar to the one pictured above. Tomorrow night, I shall place it around her neck for the first time, and we will take our relationship to a new level throughout the evening.

I've given her a list of "expectations and preparations" so she'll be ready for the evening (I'll be coming to her house). She knows exactly what time to expect me to arrive, she knows she can dress however she wishes until she's collared (and after that her clothing choices will be determined by me). She knows what should be prepared for dinner.

She knows we'll have a collar ritual to begin the evening, including champagne, music, a fire in the fireplace, and a new candle we'll light as we begin.

She knows that tomorrow is the First of her Lessons on D/S. The focus will be on:
  • Learning to submit and surrender
  • Boundary management
  • Building trust
I'm planning a full evening of pleasure and pain, of sex and spankings and a few new things which will allow her to explore her commitment to be a complete Submissive, and mine to be her Dom. I suspect it will be an amazing evening, one neither of us is likely to forget for a long time.

I find myself tonight very aware of my own power and confidence and even a stirring sense of arousal, and fully aware of the responsibility I bear to lead this experience in such a way that D will experience having her boundaries tested, leaving her wondering if she can possibly take another minute of it, while realizing afterwards she can't wait for Lesson Two.

I'm so proud to announce...

D has launched her own blog, the Story of D!

Now that we're in two houses, living independently from one another, she wanted to start her own blog to chronicle her continued journey into the world of spanking, domestic discipline, and now, dominance and submission.

I proudly encourage you to check out her blog and follow her story. By reading this blog, and by reading D's blog, you'll get both sides of our story as we explore our unfolding relationship.

We've both come to realize we want to discover the possibilities of a dom/sub relationship, because we believe this will take us to a deeper commitment, a stronger love, and a more complete expression of who we are, both individually and as a couple.

I'm thrilled she has started blogging; I'm as curious as anyone about how she describes her experiences.

So please, give her blog a read, and help her feel welcome to the blogging community by leaving a comment from time to time. Comments are always welcomed!