If you've followed this blog for any time, you know that D and I met online, as a direct result of me starting this blog, about a year and a half ago. Emails and phone calls quickly morphed into face-to-face meetings in cities that lay between us. Wasn't long at all before D made the decision to move to my town. First plan was to move her here, get her a place, and begin seeing each other often.
That plan didn't last long. We made the decision to not only move her here, but to find a place to live together -- right from the get-go. We lived there for about a year in a wonderful, but painfully small place. Since we both work from home, we were essentially together 7/24 -- and that turned out to be a bit of a problem.
For that reason, and others, we almost broke up. We did move out into separate places, but realized we wanted to keep seeing one another. We were lucky to find new digs just a few blocks from one another, which gives us the best of both worlds -- alone time when we need it, and together time as often as we want.
Our relationship was begun with disciplinary and other kinds of spankings as a central tenet. We both love participating in erotic spankings, the occasional maintenance spanking, and, when warranted, strict disciplinary spanking.
We sorted out (and continue to sort out) the differences between all of these. We enjoy a good role play, and we also understand the difference between spanking for pleasure and spanking for discipline.
As time has passed, we have both begun to understand that we have deeper interests, in such things as bondage, rope play, collaring, and the like. D has a bit more experience in her past than me in these areas. She's quite clear she's a submissive, whereas I'm becoming clear that I'm a dominant, in a more complete sense than as "just" a spanker.
We made a few steps into BDSM in the past few months, particularly with rope play, which we both find really exciting. Thanks to the great videos at Twisted Monk, things have gone well. D also is proud to wear a collar "on demand" (and no pun intended.)
D recently visited with like-minded friends in another city, and went to a private spanking party as well as The Lair in Los Angeles, and it stimulated and awakened her interest in taking things to, as they say, another level. When she returned and we talked about her experience, something stirred in me as well.
So we're moving full speed ahead into a new arena. Our journey is going to take us into a Brave New World. D has decided to revitalize her dormant blog, and she'll give you her perspective on this adventure. I'll do my best to write about my experience here.
Already I can foresee times when this might be difficult. All of my preconceptions of what it means to be a Dom come into play -- that he is all-wise, that he's always in control, that he always knows exactly what he's doing. That's certainly not me, and it will certainly be curious to see how much I'm willing to reveal my own experience (or lack thereof!) while accepting and acting on who I really am. I don't want to hide behind a mask - I want to be authentic and real. What gives me energy and optimism about all this is my complete confidence in myself and what I bring to the table. So, it's more like learning to play a fine instrument. Only, in this case, I'm the instrument!
I remember when I first starting spanking. In the beginning, it was exhilarating (and still is) but I found myself unwilling to admit I was a "newbie." Fortunately, I was able to be honest with my first few partners and they were wonderful enough to accept me for who I was at that time, and I learned a great deal. I suspect this new journey will be similar in many respects.
I've purchased a book: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns at the recommendation of the great staff at my favorite kink store. We plan to read it together. We've decided to start attending local munches and we've both signed up on FetLife.
So that's what's new with us. I'll keep you posted! And, if you have suggestions, or links, or tips for us, let me know. I'd particularly be interested in any blogs written by male Doms who have described their own journey from newbie to master.