Thursday, July 15, 2010

A Couple of Handfuls

Over the past two years, D and I have evolved from meeting one another, defining and redefining our relationship, and venturing out to play with others. We began with a Shadowlane party, then another, followed by Boardwalk Badness and Florida Moonshine.

Each of these parties was special for different reasons, but I've noticed that we push our boundaries a little further each time. D is more comfortable playing the naughty girl in the public settings at the parties; we're both more comfortable in suite parties, and we both have enjoyed creating more private scenes with other couples.

Now, at large parties, we find ourselves simply playing without getting into roles; it's more about the real headspace that we can share and create with others. I've enjoyed watching D get caned, and I've enjoyed being witness to her being topped without a role being played. I've done some of the same.

From there we ventured into a private party with two other couples and had a wild, exhilarating time on a recent weekend. Part spanking, part light BDSM, part exhibitionism, part hilarity - it was all good.

And now, another first. We had someone come see and stay with us for a long weekend that we'd met at a large party a couple of times. I'd played with C at these parties while D played with her top. We had gotten along well. C had never been to our home city (or state) and wanted to come see it, and we agreed to be hosts and tour guides.

So out she came, and we spent four days together, site-seeing by day, playing by night. It was a profound experience on many levels.

It was my first experience as a top with two bottoms all to myself. It was D's first experience "sharing" me with someone else for an extended time. I'm sure it was C's first experience traveling to share time with a couple such as us, and playing with us for four days.

We didn't do any role playing. We kept it real. I found it exhilarating and challenging at the same time. I know D quite well - I can read her, I know what she likes and doesn't like, I know which implements produce what effects. I don't know C very well at all, so I didn't know many things - her limits (which she wanted tested), how different implements, positions, and situations would affect her.

Perhaps the most important lesson I learned was quite simple when I think about it: Topping is quite different for every bottom. I suppose that should have been obvious, but only when faced (literally!) with two different bottoms who have different expectations, limits, needs, desires, tolerances, and everything else did this become clear to me.

For a short scene at a party, this is not such a big deal. For a four-day situation, it is.

And then there's the dynamics at play. D and I are a couple with a history; C was the "third wheel" with the personal challenge of finding a way to fit in. It all worked out fine, but there was a palpable imbalance which I had to find ways to address throughout the visit. Helping C become comfortable was only part of the dynamic - helping D (and myself) be comfortable was also in play.

Bottom line (no pun intended): it's a delicious fantasy to have two bottoms to spank at the same time, or one after the other, all to myself. The reality is it's actually a lot of hard work to get it right. Don't get me wrong - we all had a great time. But the time compression is a critical factor.

If we were to meet someone who lives here and wanted to do some top/bottom/bottom play, we'd have the luxury of taking it slow - getting to know one another a bit better, doing something one night and then having time in-between before we played again, etc.

Within the parameters of a short visit, things are different. Just as the dynamics between D and I have grown over the past two years, it can take time to find a way to completely merge the fantasy with the reality.

Looking back, I know I had a wonderful experience, and I believe that both D and C did as well. It gave all of us some new insights into "this thing we do," that's for sure. I hope we'll get to do it again some time.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

It's all good...

In my last post, I described how I learned that sometimes, a spanking is not the answer. D had been down in the dumps, and I'd tried to pull her out of it with a "centering" spanking - but it 'twas not to be.

The lesson for me had a couple of layers. First, I had to recall that old expression - if all you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail. Or to paraphrase, if all you have is a paddle, then every situation looks like it calls for a spanking.

The second level is patience. Sometimes D goes off somewhere, inside herself, and gets a little lost. She withdraws from life, to give herself a little space. I should know by now that given a little time, she finds herself, rights her ship, and comes back to the real world with her old self restored. I'd like to think that spanking her when she's "gone" will bring her back sooner, but it doesn't work. She has to work out her situation and bring herself back.

Which brings me to the present. I was with D a couple of nights ago, and we were just lounging about and watching TV. I was doing my best to be patient, and not to force anything between us - just hang with her and wait for a signal that she felt better.

Towards what I thought was the natural end of the evening, D sort of crawled up on my lap and "presented herself" to me. She was wearing some nightclothes and no panties. She wiggled herself in such a way that her bare bottom was soon in plain view - and in the classic spanking position.

D hates the idea of asking to be spanked. Hates it! But this was a clear signal that she wanted to be taken in hand. It was wordless but unmistakeable. I didn't have to be struck by lightening - I knew she was ready once again.

I delivered a sound hand spanking on the couch, and then, in my stern Toppie voice, said, "Do I need to take you into the bedroom and give you a heart-pounding orgasm, young lady? You do know that's what naughty girls like you get when you show off that lovely bottom like you just did!"

She nodded wordlessly. She had crossed the line, and deserved the full "punishment."

I took her in hand and led her into the bedroom. I placed her in position on the bed, pillow under her tummy. I pulled out our favorite implement - a fine leather strap from The London Tanner. Giving her many strokes, I soon found her to be quivering with anticipation of what would come next.

We made love. I'm not the sort of guy who goes into great detail on that subject, but I'll just say this. D had a fantastic O - that reduced her to tears afterwards. Good tears. Happy tears. Relief tears.

So the good news is that D is back once again. Still overworked, still overwhelmed by some vanilla things, but she's back in all her naughty, delicious glory.

It's all good...